The first sign that something was wrong at Hogwash Affiliate Academy was not a crash. It was a surge. Quiet at first. Almost polite. A second-year in Ravenclaw mentioned, in a tone of careful casualness, that his landing page had received “a few extra visitors overnight.” By breakfast, those “few” […]
An Affiliate Harry Potter Spoof
25 posts
I swear, sometimes it feels like Chat’s spying on me when it comes up with the ideas for these stories and the Inspirational Word posts🕵🏼♂️👀 Surely it can’t always be coincidence that it so spookily reflects what i’m doing👻 Either that, or there’s some magic behind the scenes🧙🏼♀️👁🗨🧙🏼♂️ Barry Profiter […]
There are certain sounds one expects to hear at Hogwash Affiliate Academy before breakfast. The clatter of cutlery in the Great Hall.The distant thud of first-years discovering that “traffic generation” did not, in fact, involve summoning carriages.The occasional explosion from the experimental copywriting classroom, where adjectives were handled with insufficient […]
I’m scheduling this post on Monday night, and will hopefully manage to stay ahead from now on and make life a bit easier for myself. It does mean not having time to read the books I want to, but if it gets me a fresh start in the morning and […]
Barry Profiter and the Vault of Unopened Courses 📦📚 Barry Profiter had always believed that learning was a noble pursuit. At least, that was what he told himself as he staggered back to his dormitory one evening beneath the crooked towers of Hogwash Affiliate Academy, arms full of newly purchased […]
The Hall appeared the morning after a particularly aggressive “income screenshot” contest. No one admitted starting it. One moment the east corridor of Hogwash Affiliate Academy contained three cracked portraits of past Headmasters and a vending machine that only dispensed disappointment. The next moment, the corridor stretched impossibly long — […]
It arrived on a Tuesday, which was already suspicious. Tuesdays at Hogwash Affiliate Academy had a habit of introducing things that promised transformation and delivered paperwork. Yet this particular Tuesday dawned unusually bright, with sunlight streaming through the enchanted skylights and catching upon something new in the Great Hall. At […]
No post again on Sunday because I was tied up with other things; mainly domestic. This post is very late, but hopefully I can keep on track once I get ahead of things. Barry Profiter was awakened at 3:17 a.m. by applause. Not real applause. Digital applause. 👏👏👏👏👏 His pillow […]
The Proven Path Upward appeared overnight. No ribbon-cutting.No announcement.Just a polished structure rising through the center of the Great Hall like it had always been there. A ladder. 🪜 Not wooden.Not metal. Certainty. At the base, a brass plaque gleamed: THE PROVEN PATH UPWARDFollow the steps. Trust the system. Barry […]
Barry Profiter noticed something was wrong when his calendar blinked at him. Not popped up.Not notified. Blinked. He stared back. “Don’t do that,” Barry muttered. The calendar blinked again. 📆 🕰️ The First Invite The invite appeared without a sender. Subject: Quick SyncDuration: 15 minutesAgenda: Align Barry squinted.“Align what?” The […]